Despair Death Road is the third episode of Total Drama Island. It was written by PokeFanClaire and released on September 1, 2017. A revised version was released on September 13, 2020.
Episode[]
Docks - Night[]
Junko is confused about what Lunch Lady Belinda just said.
Junko: Are you on fucking drugs? I'm not Cameron Van Something.
Lunch Lady Belinda: I'm talking about queen Cameron Van Buren... that is right behind you.
A blonde woman with a fur coat steps in.
Cameron: Hello, Creepy Lady Belinda and hello to you too, Junko Enoshima.
Junko: Um
Cameron: My plan is that I'm controlling everything from the shadows. I infiltrated Munsch's domain and now I'm here because I want the money.
Lunch Lady Belinda blushes.
Lunch Lady Belinda: M-me too!
Cameron: That is why we're going to use you as our source and let you win this game. What do you think? Will you join our alliance?
Junko: ..I.'ll think about that, now I would just like to go sleep.
Cameron: Fine, you have time till the next campfire ceremony. Sweet dreams, Enoshima.
Junko leaves the awkward situation, as Cameron starts to laugh as a maniac and so does Belinda.
CONFESSIONAL
Junko is annoyed.
Junko: What the fuck is up with creepy bitches that are obsessed with me? I know that I'm awesome and charming but this is just annoying.
Area outside the forest[]
Mahiru Koizumi is walking and taking pictures. Ibuki, Taka, Chihiro, Tom and Crim are following her.
Mahiru: (smiles) Thank you guys for following me. I'll make sure to send you these pictures, in case you want it.
Tom: We better take a selfie all together one time.
Taka: Koizumi, your pictures are very well welcomed in this environment!
Chihiro: (smiles) Now that you graduated, it's so weird for you not to say "school"!
Taka: (blushes) Hehe, right..
Crim: I heard you were a photographer for America's Next Sim Model?
The others gasp.
Mahiru: That is true.
CONFESSIONAL
Mahiru: I barely graduated from Hope's Peak when I received a job offer from the USA! Especially from such a popular show, it had been great. The winner was-
SPOILER ALERT, COVER YOUR EARS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT!!!!!!!
-Londyn Tierney. And that fight against Kerry Mathis in the last episode... simply iconic.
Mahiru talks about how she became ANSM's photographer.
Ibuki: (shocked) So all the pictures on Instagram... was the studio?!
Mahiru nods.
Ibuki: Holy cow, that's awesome!
Suddenly, someone screams and kicks Taka in the face. It's Tenko.
Tenko: Was this male harassing you?!
Mahiru: No, he wasn't.
Tom: I can't believe this happened again, poor Taka.
Taka: It's...ok......
Chihiro: (sighs) You know, I just got over her manners already there's not even point in complaining.
Tenko turns to Crim.
Tenko: Oh, Crim! Good morning, may Atua be with you!
Crim: Same can be said to you, Tenko.
Tenko smiles and prays.
CONFESSIONAL
Tom is thinking.
Tom: Why is Tenko praying to Atua, who technically is a male, but hates all males? I'm relieved I haven't done anything to piss her off... yet
Killer Bass Camp House - Inside[]
Claire, Kaede, Sonia and Angie have just entered the cabin because Miu was moaning. They find Mondo , Kazuichi and Kokichi in there. The latter is laughing.
Claire: Guys, what the fuck are you doing?
Kaede is mad at Kokichi.
Kaede: What did you do to her?!
Kokichi: Don't you fucking see??
Miu is moaning but is revealed that she's wearing 'virtual reality simulation' glasses.
Sonia: How did she get them?
Angie: It was thanks to Miu's skills!
Miu: FUCK ME DADDY, YOU BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE WITH YOUR NON-PIXELATED DICK I MASTERFULLY CREATED AAAAAAAH!
Mondo: She's totally gone
Kazuichi: Miss Sonia, lemme protect her ears from her dirty words!
Miu takes off the glasses.
Miu: HA HA HA! I'm a fucking genius! No need to buy dildos anymore with my virtual reality, why imagining it when you can live it?
Sonia: T-they will still be important, even after your glasses come out!
Everyone stares at Sonia.
Kazuichi: Miss Sonia?!
Kokichi: Wow, intense, nishishishi.
Mukuro enters the camp house.
Mukuro: Girls, Munsch told me to tell you to go to the restaurant- (notices the three guys) ....what are you all doing here?
Miu smiles.
Miu: It's okay honey, we're all going.
Everyone leaves. Kokichi drags Kazuichi and both walk close to Mondo.
Kokichi: So, have you decided about joining the alliance?
Mondo: (sighs and rolls eyes) Fine but are we sure this is going to work?
Kokichi: well, it's 3 of us and I think it can be easy to reason with someone else like Sonia or that dumb bitch Miu to vote someone else off. Don't worry guys, we got this.
Restaurant[]
Cathy Munsch is drinking vodka with a girl.
Cathy Munsch: Finally those losers arrived!
Gundham: Bad remark, my Dark Devas should send you to hell!
Kanon: (rolls eyes) And she should send you back home
Gundham: Argh-!
Cathy Munsch: I usually don't eat here in this ratched restaurant but I'm still pissed about that thief Kirumi that I'm here to present you our latest addiction, Cameron Van Buren!
Cameron smiles and waves her hand.
Cameron: Hello! You may already know me as Prom Queen of a few years ago at Overland Park High School.
The others don't know who she is while Junko rolls her eyes at the school's name.
Cameron: I'll be here in the upcoming challege that is-
Cathy Munsch: Ahem, everything in due time.
Cameron frowns as Cathy turns towards the contestants.
Cathy Munsch: Today the challenge will be called "Despair Death Road"!
Junko: I like the name!
Leon: It's a little freaky though, considering the "Death" part...
Cathy Munsch: Screaming Gophers are 11 members while Killer Bass are 10. You have to run and follow the path till you reach the other side of the island. Once there, you'll see two canoas waiting for you. This completes the first part of the challenge, see ya later! NOW GO!
Everyone runs away and the challenge starts.
Into the Woods[]
Both teams are running. Mukuro, Taka and Tenko are ahead of everyone else.
Kaede: Come on guys, we can do it!
Angie: Atua says that the path will show up soon.
Miu: Great, so we don't start running into random shit.
They reach crossroads. Each path has a cartel with the respective team's logo.
Kaede: (skeptical) So we just have to follow the path?
Rantaro: (crosses arms) This thing smells like a trap
Kokichi: Nah, it's definitely Kazuichi that smells
Kazuichi is mad.
Kazuichi: Can you stop?!
Crim: Guys, shut the fuck up!
Ibuki: Ibuki suggests to follow each cartel! After all, that's what Cathy wants us to do.
Tenko: Tenko agrees!
Claire: And that's exactly why we shouldn't trust it.
Rantaro: (ignores her) Fine, each team will follow the proper cartel, see ya later!
The teams split, Screaming Gophers take the right path and Killer Bass take the left one. Suddenly, Cameron Van Buren appears and smirks at the fact that she switched the cartels that morning.
Into the Woods - 2[]
Mahiru has stopped because she wants to take a picture of the path.
Mahiru: Wait, lemme take a picture of this!
Kanon: Fucking run, we can't wait for you!
Kanon leaves with the others but Junko trips because one of her heels breaks.
Junko: FUCKING SHIT
Mahiru: Um why are you wearing heels in a challenge that involves running and walking on the beach?!
Junko: Bitch, because I look fucking fabulous in heels and so I always wear them??
Suddenly, Lunch Lady Belinda steps in from behind one of the trees and helps Junko.
Belinda: Oh my, poor dear, lemme help you.
Mahiru: Miss Belinda, what are you doing here?
Belinda gasps at Mahiru's sight.
Belinda: I was just taking a walk. I don't live in that damn kitchen, y'know?
Mahiru: S-sorry..
Belinda: (to Junko) Now go sweetie, your teammates are waiting for you.
Junko: What about my shoe?!
Belinda: You'll walk barefoot so GO!
Junko: Fuck off
Junko and Mahiru run away. Belinda looks around to make sure she wasn't being seen by anyone else and shortly decides to leave too.
Beach []
Killer Bass have just arrived at the beach, on the other side of the island. They look around and find a green canoa.
Claire: Ok we're here but why the canoa is green? Isn't red our color?
Sonia: Maybe they got confused?
Crim: If they don't even know what the teams' colors are, then this show is a fucking joke.
Suddenly, a tv display appears.
Miu: Mmh, seems like it is a TV display that works with solar power, it's pretty fucking amazing.
It turns on, revealing Cathy's face.
Cathy Munsch: Is this thing on? ------ Ok, it is! Good job, Screaming Gophers, for reaching the bea- wait, what the fuck are you doing here?!
Mondo: We just followed the cartels you left behind!
Cathy Munsch: Fine, seems like I'll have to fire someone for not doing their job properly. Anyway, now that you reached it the canoa, the second part of the challenge starts. You have to reach the next island in front of you while rowing the canoa. However, be careful! The flow of the water is quite strong here.
Kaede: But that is insane! We're risking our life a second time!
Cathy Munsch rolls her eyes.
Cathy Munsch: Stop being a brat and just go.
They move the canoa in the water.
Mukuro: We should probably scheme our position in the canoa.
Kokichi: I'm short so I'll be on Mondo's shoulders!
Mondo: THE FUCK?!
They spend one minute while arguing and deciding each position but eventually reach a compromise and move away, using their hands as oars.
-------------------------------
Screaming Gophers arrive and are confused too at the red canoa.
Chihiro: I'm quite sure red isn't our color.
Taka: Someone is sabotaging us! I suggest a hand raise if you're the culprit!
Kanon: Um, did you consider that it was probably one of the producers' fault?
Tom: Guys, Mahiru and Junko aren't here.
Rantaro: ARE YOU JOKING?!
Tom: OF COURSE NOT!
Gundham: They were-
Ibuki: What if a grizzly bear ate them while in the woods?! (shocked) HOLY CRAP, IT WOULD PROBABLY STILL BE HUNGRY BECAUSE JUNKO AND MAHIRU ARE SKINNY!
Gundham: This is ridiculous, there aren't even any bears with this climate.
Ibuki: But you can't be so sure!
Kanon: This conversation is freaking stupid I just want to jump off that cliff again.
The TV display appears and Cathy explains everything to them too.
Rantaro: Guys, we can't lose time so it's better if we just go.
Leon: Okay, come on, we can do it!
They move the canoa and move away too.
Into the Sea[]
The flow is strong and both teams have trouble.
Tenko: The other team can be seen from here!
Rantaro: We have to move faster, come on...
But problems are coming....
-------------------------------
Meanwhile, on the beach, Mahiru and Junko just arrived.
Junko: FOR FUCK'S SAKE WE'RE TOO LATE!
Mahiru: There has to be another way somewhere.
Junko turns to Mahiru
Junko: IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!
Mahiru: MY fault?! YOU are the one who tripped because you wore fucking heels in this challenge!
Junko: AS IF IT WAS ME WHO STOPPED YOU FROM RUNNING!!!!
They spend time talking back at each other.
------------------------------
Angie: Atua says that we can make it!
Crim: BELIEVE. IN. ATUA.
Sonia: It's getting closer!
Miu: Yo Mondo, with your big ass arms and hands we should've already gotten there by now!
Mondo: I'M FUCKING SORRY BUT I'M DOING MY BEST AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU ARE USING THE SAME ENERGY AS I AM!
Miu: Eeeek! No need to raise your fucking voice!
The canoa starts to diverge the road because of the flow but the beach is not too far away so the team is debating what to do.
Claire: GUYS, WE SHOULD JUST JUMP!
Kazuichi: The flow will-
Before he can finish the phrase, a wave pushes the canoa and everyone falls in the water. They manage to swim to the beach and celebrate.
Kokichi: YES, TEAM WERK
Miu: Ew, cringy word coming from your mouth
An helicopter arrives and Cathy speaks from there.
Cathy Munsch: And Killer Bass team wins the challenge! As a reward you will stay here for the night and sleep in a confortable hotel on the other side of the island.
They scream out of joy.
Mukuro: Where is the other team though?
Cathy Munsch: Mahiru and Junko arrived later so they missed the canoa while the others are scrambling in the water. Hope they won't drown.
And it was true. The wave hit the Screaming Gophers as well, who all fell.
Gundham: We- can't- lose- again-
Kanon: This is so annoying, this is like the third time in a row we lose
Tom: We didn't last time though
Kanon: Just because Kirumi got disqualified from Munsch, who decided to interrupt the match. We would've lost as well if they managed to complete the match.
They are rescued and put back into Camp Wawanakwa while the other team is resting at Kahuanui Island.
Cathy Munsch: Tonight, at the campfire ceremony, one of you will leave the island. Cast your votes in the confessional by 9 PM.
Flashes of each team member voting for someone in the confessional.
Gundham: (irritated) You can do what you do best back home.
Campfire Ceremony - Night []
The Screaming Gophers are sit near the docks, waiting for the ceremony to start. Cathy Munsch arrives with a plate and 8 marshmallows.
Cathy Munsch: Welcome to the campfire ceremony, Screaming Gophers. Tonight, one of you will leave the island by walking through the Dock of Shame. If you receive a marshmallow, you will be safe but if you don't, you will be eliminated. Now, let's start.
Cathy gives the marshmallows to Tenko, Leon, Gundham, Chihiro and Tom.
Cathy Munsch: You five are safe.
Cathy then gives the marshallows to Rantaro, Taka, Kanon and Ibuki.
Junko: WHAT?!
Mahiru is agitated.
Cathy Munsch: I'm really sorry.....
The suspence is killing the two contestants.
Cathy Munsch: Mahiru, the tribe has spoken, you are forced to leave.
Junko cheers as she gets to eat the marshmallow. Mahiru is trying to hold the tears.
A display shows up and shows:
- Mahiru -> 9 votes
- Junko -> 1 vote
- Ibuki -> 1 vote
Ibuki: I'm confused, seems like I really have a secret lover!
Kanon grits her teeth.
CONFESSIONAL
Kanon: Honestly I don't even know why I voted for Ibuki this time when clearly Mahiru and Junko were bigger problems this time. Oh well, I was hoping somehow she would've been thrown out.
Junko: Of course you had to vote for me.
Mahiru: I can believe YOU ALL decided for me when Junko shares part of the blame.
Junko: I dare you to fucking say that again-
Mahiru: Well, guess that my talent took over me and I paid the price for that.
Tom: WAIT, WE NEED ONE LAST TEAM SELFIE!
Mahiru: Yeah, I guess we can do that...
Mahiru takes the selfie with her former teammates. As she walks through the Dock of Shame and leaves, Cathy has one more announcement for the team
Cathy Munsch: Before you go, I shall announce something. I have seen your relationships between each others so I decided to spice things up and switch one of you with someone from the other team.
Everyone is shocked.
Cathy Munsch: Tenko....
Tenko: (agitated) Y-yes?!
Cathy Munsch: You're a Killer Bass now, sweetie. You're going to your new team on Camp Kahuanui.
Chihiro: Who will replace her?
Cathy looks at Gundham and smirks.
Cathy Munsch: Sonia Nevermind.
------------------------
Kazuichi cries as a shocked Sonia is dragged out and thrown in the boat for Camp Wawanakwa. Meanwhile, Tenko smiles and hugs the Killer Bass' girls, much to their shock and confusion.
------------------------
After the ceremony is over, Junko walks in the woods. As expected, she finds Belinda and Cameron.
Belinda: So, did you-
Cameron: Shut up, Belinda. I'm the one to speak.
Cameron clears her throat.
Cameron: So, Junko, did you decide what to do?
Junko: Yes. I accept. (smiles) The three of us will be one hell of an alliance, bringing despair and shit!
Cameron and Belinda laugh.
------------------------
The ending shows Cathy Munsch walking on the dock.
Cathy Munsch: Another episode comes to an end and a big change has just happened...but stay tuned for the next episode! And let despair, drama and discord hit you! This is
TOTAL
DRAMA
ISLAND!
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